Of Food, Laughter, Tears and Heart-to-Heart talks

^ The mystery of the Chinese girl at the Mansion! :D

Completing our 10-session pre-marriage counseling course over a span of 7 months (since last August, can you believe it?!) called for a mini celebratory dinner this past Tuesday with our counselors who have painstakingly guided us through countless discussions and walked us through lots of laughter and some tears :) It was a celebration dinner of yummilicious fish head curry, salt-baked chicken, prawns and JCo DONUTS! (I had been craving those donuts for a week prior to this) HAHA!

Irwin and I have learnt so much about each other over these 10-sessions, we feel that it was worth going through the whole syllabus -- something money will never be able to buy. Issues that couples usually wouldn't delve into were brought up and discussed about, and I am glad we had the opportunity to do so despite finding ourselves in heated arguements at times :P

I wouldn't say that our impending union would be one without hiccups anymore; rather we definitely conclude that we have a tad bit more wisdom now to brace the challenges ahead... by God's grace :P keke.

Second dose of pre-marriage counseling

Arguments are inevitable in a relationship, and even more so when a couple progresses further on into their relationship. Faced with decisions to make and differing opinions, conflicts are bound along the way, which so often times leave one person completely puzzled and the other totally consumed with frustration!

Many times, Irwin and I get frustrated with each other, wondering why the other person is "so like dat" (as we M'sians would put it) :P He doesn't seem to understand why I can get completely edgy when plans change the last minute, and I have no idea why he needs to take 888 million years to decide on something. Our 2nd pre-marriage counseling helped us in unraveling some of these 'mysteries' about our other-half and gave us some fresh perspectives into handling our differences. At the end of the day, our goal in marriage is really to complement each other with our strengths, rather than be an added burden as soon as we say our I-do's.

We also delved into some of our past -- discussing significant events that has led us to become who we are today; and how it is important for us to understand each other's background, so that we can learn to be more tolerant toward each others' quirks :P

Managing Great Expectations

One of the 'prerequisites' of getting married at PJEFC is completing a 10-session pre-marriage counseling course. Together with our counselors -- Drs. Hera and YF, Irwin and I officially kick-started our first session tonight! :)

The format of these sessions requires us to do a little bit of homework before we meet each session. It would include some Scripture reading as well as answering manyyyyyy questions -- questions that have NEVER crossed my mind previously :P These questions are called inventories and I guess its primary objective is to stir up both our thoughts and help us manage our expectations a li'l bit better upon entering the next phase of life... and boy, are there ALOT of expectations to cover and discuss! :D

About 2 years ago, the church also made us do a compatibility test which had us answering about 180 questions like "Do you agree that romance will fade after many years of marriage?" or "Do you foresee any major disagreements with your spouse after marriage?". Our results have both been tabulated, and we're also using it as a general guide for discussion.

Conclusion of our first session: Irwin and I are too idealistic (rather than realistic) about marriage! keke! The test showed that we strongly believe that we will be madly in love with each other forever! :D And while it is a GOOD thing, we were also made to realize that at some point, there will be rough patches, and issues that will challenge our love for each other are bound to surface. The most important ingredient for a successful marriage is to place God at the center of our lives & marriage, and also to stand by our commitment as well as the vows we will make to each other when we get married! :)